Ah! ‘Tis the season for snuggling up two by two at the fireplace, picking out lovers’ presents and eagerly anticipating a New Year’s Eve kiss.

Argh. Between Hollywood and Hallmark it’s a wonder that any single person successfully struggles against the urge to shove a sharp stick in their eye to escape the constant barrage of images that characterizes our culture’s ubiquitous insistence on coupledom.

But, all melodrama and threats of personal self harm aside, this time of year is hard, not only on single folks, but on anyone whose daily life feels more like an episode of ER, or a Saturday Night Live skit, or goddess forbid, a made for Lifetime Movie, than a rerun of Leave It To Beaver.  Or, um, a rerun of Father Knows Best.

If you’re unlucky enough to be struggling during this already high-drama and often low-mood season with, for example, a recent break up, you’re also probably unlucky enough to be the recipient of startling large amounts of unsolicited advice. Much of this advice is unrealistic or ludicrous or both.

For those of who would rather wring someone’s neck rather than ring silver bells, there have got to be some realistic ways to go about feeling better during the next few weeks. At least some of which don’t involve eating Ben and Jerry’s directly from the container with a cutlery implement fashioned from a Hershey Bar. And you give me just a moment, I am certain I’ll be able to think of one.

Of course, there’s always self-soothing, which is using the physical comfort offered by your five sentences to help convert unmanageable emotions to a manageable level. We’re talking here about rubbing your hands with lotion, listening to a piece of music you really like or smelling a flower. Strangling your ex when she shows up two hours late to pick up the cat from kitty daycare doesn’t count.

How about communing with nature? Call your best friend, gather some flat stones and go for an afternoon rock skipping session at the nearest body of water that is not your bathtub. See who can get the most skips. Remember, if you live in a large urban industrial area, deflections off of dead rats and belly up catfish count double!

Or you can use affirmations, but don’t saddle your psyche with ones that are overly ambitious. Try “just for today I will get out of bed” or “I am my own casual acquaintance” for starters.

And I hate to even mention this but, c’mon, go ahead and count your blessings. Not to make you feel guilty about feeling so rotten, but because it just might relieve your misery for a moment.  If you are just coming out of a truly terrible relationship, certainly a degree of relief can be obtained from remembering “at least we didn’t have kids together.” Unless you had kids together. In which case, um, hmmm, on to the next suggestion.

Take yourself on a date. It’s super corny, but c’mon, we’re queers, corny is in our blood.  But don’t split the bill with yourself, that’s taking it a little too far.